Otley Dirtwheels CX

A new event organised by the loveably grumpy (its all an act I'm sure) Nick Elder and the Dirtwheels team in my hometown of Otley. I'd had a little sneak preview way back in September when Nick, Marie, Delia, Terry and myself went out for a 3 Peaks training ride and Nick took us round the course he was envisioning. I must confess I thought it only looked 'OK' back then but there again we couldn't ride the sections through the wooded banking and it can be difficult to grasp someones else's mental picture of a course. Come race day and what a difference!

Laura powers the steep climb

What makes a good cross course? I'm not sure that I could describe it but there are certain elements that help. Firstly a variety of terrain and ground conditions with hills, banking, off-camber corners and mud in as many varieties as possible. There also needs to be a selection of obstacles that have the potential to force you off the bike, barriers, deep mud, steep hills, sand and so on. The layout needs to be spectator friendly, you should be able to easily access several vantage points to witness rider's skills or distress. Add to all this a slick organisation and a PA playing a bit of Punk for us over 40s and you have the perfect set up.

Nick pre puncture

Nick's course had all this, well apart from the sand and I'm sure he can sort that for next year, perhaps a flyover and steps too? I've seen his decking he's right handy with that wood and nails business. My favourite part of the course was at the far (eastern) end where there was some proper @crossjunkie Grade 7 Glop (gloop?) where you could power through the mud letting the bike find its own line euro cross style. Everyone I spoke to loved the course (not sure about one or two of the seniors who lost rear mechs!) and it definitely ranks up there as one of the best Yorkshire courses. It was noticeable after the vets race the number of people who stayed around for the seniors which is a good indicator that people were enjoying it - the sunshine doubtless helped a bit. So well done again Nick and team.

Must. Learn. To. Bunny-hop

As for the race Wayne and I made a bit of a schoolboy error at the start by not checking out the ground and ended up on the right with the 'soft' going. When the siren went the left hand riders seemed to have an extra 100W of power and we were pedalling through treacle! By the end of the second lap I'd managed to regain the lost places and finished a pleasing 7th. I'll update all 'Belgian results when they go up, Nick unfortunately had a puncture induced DNF and Laura got the better of John but beyond that we'll have to wait. BTW Laura, leg warmers  for a race - what would your mother say have you not heard of 'Belgian Knee Warmers' - break out the embrocation?! No photos from Jo as she was off down to Bristol  but I've pinched a few from Jonathan (thanks Jonathan J).

Addendum John finished 69th and Laura 62nd and 4th lady - a return to form. It has also been brought to my attention that Laura didn't wear legwarmers to race in as the opening photo is from a warm up lap so I'll just re-direct the fashion faux pas advice to John who most definitely did wear knee warmers but given the state of his arm warmers he's probably beyond hope ;-)

John on a slick and trick-some corner

It’s all About the Fake Tan



Tanned Shins



After what I considered a rather poor opening Summer Cross Round One at Keighley, I rolled up at Tod - for already the second time this year - a little deflated.  By now, all the anger and frustrations from the other week had ebbed, and the promises I had made myself had gone by the by… However, I had managed to fake tan my shins.



Being an amply proportioned gentleman in a bicycle racing environment, populated by super skinny fit wheeled gazelle like creatures, who effortlessly pedal/run rapidly up hill and down dale… seemingly all day long, I usually spend most of my time riddled with paranoia! 



Tanned Shins in Action



Slow…  Unfit…  Beer belly…  Muffin top…  Too short…  Too tall…  Too hairy…  Not hairy enough??  The list goes on.  But it’s my pasty shins that cause me the most misery.  So, fake tanned up to the max I rallied myself to the line and got ready for the cobbles.

What can I say but the fake tan worked.  I was 4% better!  My contemporaries must have been dazzled to the point of apathy by my bristling freshly bronzed shins!!  I’ll never go un-fake tanned ever again.

Another day… Another lesson learned.

Here come the Belgians Style guide: Interview with the designer

>Mr. Astle, Your new 2010 design is just
>out. In respect to the 2009 design the 2010 has a more aggressive
>impact with a bold Black/Red colour combination. Do You think Red and
>Black will soon replace the current Blue/White trend?

No, long may the blank white (with one additional colour if you're lucky) pro identikit reign. To compound that, Forza to the faux Tron-esque body panels sported by HTC Columbia, they look wicked. Or so the local five year olds tell me. Then again who wouldn't want a six pack on the outside while they can hide a keg (I prefer a Firkin) underneath.
Being serious though there definitely needs to be a separation between the PRO ranks and the grassroots racer and they're very helpful in providing a plethora of kits we have no intention of copying. It's good to look better than your heroes, especially when you're getting dropped.

>How would You rate the impact of
>British designers like Vivian Westwood and Alexander McQueen on Your
>work?

They would have played a greater influence had I got the kit designs inspired by them to actually work.
The Westwood bondage bibshorts were a failure as once you tried a cyclocross remount and threw your leg the other tended to follow; leaving you standing on the other side of the bike and not actually going anywhere! The prototype with the bondage bibs attached through the frame was an oversight with the test rider* unable to part with his machine.
The McQueen helmet made out of glass and angel wing feathers was light and aero in the windtunnel but could only withstand one impact on a rainswept, mudstrewn parcour. The UCI wanted to ban it though as it was thought to be performance enhancing via it's shock factor.
The British Designer that has had the most influence is Wayne Hemingway, with his championing of 'middle aged' fashion staples and second hand store style. Therefore for winter 2011 we shall mainly be wearing cardigans of varying shape, sag and knit, in combination with comfy slippers from select indoor market stalls.

*Didn't know we had a test team did you...He didn't know either.

>Some people compare Your design with an
>old Assos design or the Belgian Lotto design.


I'm happy to be compared to both entities and would prostrate myself with gusto (if that's possible) before the high priests of Assos, the saviors of the cycling kit world.


I'm also available as flannel boy to Leif Hoste should his last minion need respite. I also know a good hairdresser should big Phil Gilbert need one (and I think he does).

>Rumours are out about about a collabo
>with Paul Smith for the 2011. Would You like to comment on that?

I can't really comment at the moment ( no comment means no collabo, I don't do stripe at the moment) but in the near future it's all about punk rock DIY. Expect to see some more clothing projects inspired by the glorious world of European road racing (for once I'm being serious here).

>Would You consider going back to an
>English or European supplier for the 2011 design.

I'd happily throw my (our) lot in with any manufacturer who can offer me product, pricing and confidence in their product...Who am I trying to fool I'll throw money at anyone that can make me compromise my highly developed morals via the means of private jets, deposits in secret bank accounts and life lived the Tiger Woods way!

>What sets Your design apart from other
>teams is the limited availability, which says „Members only“, so
>no chance to pick up a jersey at Harrods for an example. Will You on
>the long run set up a store in Savile Row with custom fit for members
>only?

I've seen it and it's the future. A combination of cyclist's grooming with bespoke tailoring. Have a leg shave, hot towel and massage while our capable tailors measure you (to the left sir?) for your sartorial elegance. Oh, suits you sir!

>Thanks for the interview. Can I have my
>jersey NOW.

Here come the Belgians Style Guide Edizione Due

What is fashionable this month? With our 2010 team jerseys still somewhere behind the great wall, there is no reason to ride semi naked or even worse not to ride at all. So what is hot in May 2010:



Almost nothing beats a nice maglia rosa, especially in the very limited "Here come the Belgians" edition.
(Pick any old pink jersey whose design You do not like and attach the team logo over it)
Just add any black tubulari, dark chocolade and Penne Regata.

Although You might prefer British understatement:

Maglia Nera! It is the jersey for the connoisseur, the person that enjoys riding - not looking at the clock all the time. The best rider just in a different context.
2009 Team Jersey available from Shutt VR, Continental Competition 25 mm Pink - priceless, choice of colour matched chocolade about 1 GBP.

So far so good, still looking for a bib short?

Something not boring black, something more stylish?

Well, see what Mailand came up with:

A Cippolini design from about 2004