Formed in June 09, Here Come the Belgians is a non-elite anti-team celebrating all things cross, cobbled and Belgian.
Seeking a different experience to the traditional cycling club, its aim is to harness the energy of a vibrant internet cycling community with grass roots racing and riding based around Cyclocross and Spring Classics. There is no race programme in the style of a racing team, more a collection of individual experiences through rides and racing, in whatever location a member may be, that all can share in and contribute toward.

Tuesday, 29 May 2012

It’s all About the Fake Tan

Tanned Shins

After what I considered a rather poor opening Summer Cross Round One at Keighley, I rolled up at Tod - for already the second time this year - a little deflated.  By now, all the anger and frustrations from the other week had ebbed, and the promises I had made myself had gone by the by… However, I had managed to fake tan my shins.

Being an amply proportioned gentleman in a bicycle racing environment, populated by super skinny fit wheeled gazelle like creatures, who effortlessly pedal/run rapidly up hill and down dale… seemingly all day long, I usually spend most of my time riddled with paranoia! 

Tanned Shins in Action

Slow…  Unfit…  Beer belly…  Muffin top…  Too short…  Too tall…  Too hairy…  Not hairy enough??  The list goes on.  But it’s my pasty shins that cause me the most misery.  So, fake tanned up to the max I rallied myself to the line and got ready for the cobbles.

What can I say but the fake tan worked.  I was 4% better!  My contemporaries must have been dazzled to the point of apathy by my bristling freshly bronzed shins!!  I’ll never go un-fake tanned ever again.

Another day… Another lesson learned.


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  2. Excellent work on the fake tan front and it clearly makes you faster!! Its also good to see you prioritised fake tan over other things like drinking less and training more... Good work!

  3. Style John, socks, tan, red shorts! I may have to up my game to keep up ;-)

  4. Training more? DRINKING LESS!! Madness Ben.

    That's right Rich watch you back. Grace and beauty... grace and beauty... That's my moto