Fun Fun FUN at Rapha Super Cross

So it turns out I can sometimes be a little bit rapid off the start line...  I find myself 4th into the first bend!

OK OK OK... so it's 'only' the Fun Category of the recent Rapha Super Cross event at Broughton Hall, Skipton, but still... 4th is 4th!

Yes yes yes... there's only 10 competitors in our race, and the field comprises elves, fairies and a tandem riding horse.... and not forgetting my own little homage to early 90s Acid House pioneers Altern-8.  YES it's Altern-8 NOT a painter and decorator - seemed obvious to me!  Still... 4th is 4th!

So the first hurdle of the race - the sprint to the first bend - is done - tick - that's history.  Huffing and puffing hard through the dust mask of my fancy dress (what ever possessed me?) and somewhat elated at my progress I focus on the second hurdle of the race - Bend 2...

Now, not even 30 seconds into the race - and I'm only at the second bend of the opening lap - but holding 4th place - and my race starts to fall apart! No fitness you see, and the speed of my opening sprint is unsustainable... 4th is no longer 4th... it's 5th, 6th, 7th, etc!

The race was not over yet, however, there was the tequila short cut.  "All these sinewy cycling types will avoid the booze surely" I thought. This leaving open to me, and my already ruined liver, full exploitation of the boozey option!  How wrong I was - the tequila short cut in fact formed the main racing line and was frequented by all as often as possible!  However, 6No. Tequilas down and I didn't care what position I was in - but boy does it burn - a bit like inhaling pepper spray!

And then there was foam. Interesting to ride through and horrible to inhale!  Yes readers, even with the protection of my dust mask I managed a lungful!  Trying a sly gulp of air on approach, an errant floaty globule found its way to my mouth.. GULP! COUGH! SPLUTTER! FAIRY LIQUID! TEQUILA!  LITTLE BIT OF SICK!  It all happened at once! 

Fifteen minutes of Fun Cat doesn't sound like much but it turned into a bit of a queasy breathless soapy double visioned mud plugging tipsy foam smeared epic!  It was a good laugh though I'll be honest.

Thanks to Joolze Dymond for the photos.