Due to weather conditions and new economy severe delays have to be expected. Yes, gone is the sledge and it would bring tears to Your eyes, if I would tell You what happened to the reindeers. Even good old Santa is not the same anymore, shaved and on diet to fit into slim-fit jersey and the new small chimneys.
So here he goes with an old steel frame, left over cross tyres, the front Tufo has left the market already some years ago, some hot tea and a big bag on a titanium carrier. Big bag, want to know what is inside? Well, in exchange for some christmas beer someone with long ears traded me a confidential tape, it is the christmas gift decision process (CGDP). In the CGDP Santa advises his only left over elf what to put in the big bag. For the reason of ISO 9001 the CGDP is documented on tape.
"He, elf, any cycling teams left on the list? May be one team with wishes I can understand without a degree in medicine!" "Well, Santa, Team here come the Belgians, it says plenty of Belgian beer and chocolade, pralines." "They shall skip the sweet stuff and shall be granted free entries to a race early next year. In respect to the beer, they shall get of their lazy back ends and do it themselves like Phil. What else?" "One needs a another rear mech and a new rear wheel" "Well, we had some rejects of 5600 parts by these - Oh Santa I asked for a 5700 not a 5600 people - how I love them! Give him one of those, some old DT spokes and a key, there is no budget for new wheels! Next"
"This guy wants 24 bottles of Kerner white wine, as we still owe him for the carrier and bag." " Send Micheal Frank a six pack of Spa mineral water explaining that alcohol is not healthy." "The next poor chap needs a gift for his girl friend."
"Let me see, we still have a empty lingerie box and my too small summer jersey. Ho ho, love to see her face, either she calls him a cheapo and walks off or she really loves him and stays with till the rain stops in England, which is basically to the end of time. BTW, we save 80% compared to the original content of the box.
Oh, is Duncan also on that list? No matter what he wants, send him some coloured pencils to enable him to do a even better design in 2011." "Santa, I'm worried about this person, everything he wants is related to cross - including St. Andrews cross!!" " We could send him to a cross clinic - a red cross clinic, ha ha. No too expensive, we still have to cover that bill of Lindsay, send him some ballot papers and a pencil. Let us do it the other way round, what do we still have in stock?" "Some wooden floor and a purple jersey we picked up at the London Fashion Week Too late entries sale."
"Well, make Bentini signing that old wood and label it as a do it yourself home track to Mark Thomson, that jersey we wrap in a Harrods bag with an old Vogue, put on a limited edition sticker and send it off to last name on the list. Who is that anyway?"